Open studio time manifested as a couple of hours of really good conversation with a few bold blizzard navigators, punctuated by a brief bit of solo playing.

The returning theme of our conversation was the pursuit of excellence. When is it positive and fruitful to aim for accuracy, proficiency, fluency and when does this striving tip over into a rigid perfectionism in which almost no thing is ever good enough? Obviously we want to do well at our work, so when is it time to take risks – real risks, not that surprising party trick we like to do. To be willing to try and fail, then move on in the day with no crisis.

I have a strong internal drive to keep any messy, noisy, annoying, awkward, unpleasant, unskillful parts of myself in strict privacy as much as possible. It shows up in creativity as inhibition, analysis, sarcasm, superiority/inferiority, and deciding to stay with sounds I know I can perform with consistency and control. It’s great to know that’s not a healthy way to live and start to work on it by taking more risks, but the follow-through involves being ok with stumbling publicly. Doing something just kind of whatever in front of people, then moving on in the day with no crisis.

So that was day four.

Here’s a dual-looper + delay ambient piece from today. Related to yesterday’s Hollis Trucks (and featuring a few) but more saturated and the text is separate from the repeating material, added live overtop through the same delay.

As a child
I sang myself to sleep
At full voice